Love conquers all.

The old  man always told me  something. "love your wife, your family above everything else.  Give no room for  ego. Always remember that whatever you do in your family,  you do it for no one else but yourself."

And you'll love him, the  old  man. He was a real man; his love for his family was as bare as early morning sunshine. And they loved him back. It was also as glaring.

Day and night, they all gathered around  him,  his family. Even as he was dying of TB, they held onto his hands,  telling him that they were proud of him,  how special he was, how he was still the most handsome.

His wife  stood out: strickingly beautiful in a youthful sort of way. So  beautiful and young that yesterday,  I had to ask myself  how on earth such a young beautiful lady could love an old man so. The  answer was not far-fetched.

Remember, that word 'love'.  It is not just  a spoken word,  it's a habit; it should  be. A habit  borne out of a daily renewed decision to keep  being the  best you can be to the  people you care about. It is,  giving your whole self,  your  spirit,  your  pride.

The  old man was surrounded by love because he had sown love. And, in my years of practice,  I've never seen such a family as his. United and extremely bound together; they  personified  family love. They were ever present in the  hospital, every one eager to stay behind with him. And laughter always rang out from his  ward room. I've never seen such happiness in a dying  man.

"My children na anwa ike ha", he always told me. They are my, happiness, my joy and I can say that I have the best family in the  world.  Their love has given me the  chance to die with a smile on my afflicted face."

When I commended his wife for the way she had been taking care of the  old man, she told me "the old man is the best husband and father in the world, we only wish we could have him with us, forever", before breaking down in tears.

Initially,  I thought she was crying because of financial reasons but,  I was wrong. For, there was a young, beautiful,  successful lawyer,  crying because, she was about to lose her loving husband.
"The loss of the love he brings to our family will be  devastating, " she said.

Over the  years,  I've certainly,  always  thought about  it. "It is better to have loved and loved and loved again than never to have loved at all." Though,  through the  days of my youth I did derail constantly from this thought,  it's content  have always  stayed somewhere in my soul, even if only  dormant.

And now,  that I am a man and wanting to  settle down,  I am beginning to think  again. Love  is selfless, it should  be and, selflessness is giving up myself, my all for another whom I love.

So, I have decided to be a real  man,  to put my wife and family above all things,  including myself.  And now  I will try my best to get people to  share in love once more,  to see its essence as it really is, as it  has always been.

"It holds the family  together.  It is what make relationships really  blissful. We should  leave no stones unturned when we express it. We have to."

"Young men should always bear in mind that being loving does not translate to being  weak. You must  make clear, the difference because, only when you do, will you actually,  completely express all the  love bottled up in your soul." the sage said.

"We should try to  help out with house chores. There is  nothing wrong with getting into the kitchen to cook for  your family.  Even when your wife is there. There's nothing wrong with going to the market to buy food stuff and provisions. Neither  is there anything wrong with waking up at night to change the  baby's diaper. " He explained, further.

" men should get more incorporated into the running of the  home; it will foster a greater and stronger family unity. "

"There's  something magically loving and lovely about a guy  who tidies up the  house while the  wife is busy with the  children.  There is something princely about the guy who looks into the  woman's eyes and tells her 'you are tired,  baby,  let me  do the  chores' ".

In the years of youth,  I used to think these little acts of affection and selflessness were tantamount to weaknesses but,  now I know  how  wrong  I was.

In this era of divorce and counter divorce; this era when ego and pride is threatening the very fabrics of our existence,  only  a reinvention of selflessness and spirit of compromise in both  sexes can lead us to true  happiness.

And after years of research and interaction with people and, close study of families,  I have come to realise that the happiest ones are those who live in their barest forms,  without any sophistication. We have to live in our simplest from,  we have to shed every  bit of negative ego in our lives.

"I am the man of the  house ; I am the bread winner in this  house ; I feed and cloth you; I trained you, etc. "

The old man  said, these kind of words should be thrown into the  trash.

"When people are married,  they should always bear in mind that they  have become one,  one flesh, one soul."

The men should stand up once again to  fight for the  family, for their women, once again. Fight against all odds, including your ego. Fight against those bottles of beer and those tingling cravings for other women.

Make the sacrifice for that little empire you have created- your family. Because, it's failure is your failure. It's success is your success.

There's no gain in reveling in your vices in the  name of being in charge of yourself.

You don't have to spend your life in the  bar,  against the pleas and tears of your wife,  before you become a real 'in charge' man.

You don't gain anything by running after every woman in the name of the  lie that 'men are just like that'.  Stop saying "no one can tell me what to do".  Listen to your woman; she is part of your soul,  now.

The  thing is, in all you do,  remember,  the  family you have raised is the most important unit of human existence. You owe humanity a well groomed family. It starts and ends with how much you are willing to sacrifice for its sake.


These were the words of the old man who had seen life in its most beautiful  and brutal form. Yet, there he  stood with a smile on his face, in the  face of it all.

Days later after he had died, I asked his wife what kind of man he was, and she replied:

"His love defeated me in my misguided pride and extreme feminist attitude. I never thought I would love a man, after all my father did to my mother; he literally made her his slave. So, you can imagine my notion of men and love, growing up; you can imagine how many men I turned down. But, he came along and he defeated my skepticism towards men. His selflessness towards me, made me believe. Now........" she  sobbed.


Make your own deductions.

For me,  I say... The family is what the men make it. The more selfless and humble and loving, the men are,  the more stable the families will be.

Offcourse, the women must do the same.