When my
grandmother ogho was old and dying (she was the eldest person in our village),
papa would go home every weekend to see her. He was as broke as broke could be
because it was during Abacha’s regime and food was scarce yet, he would go
every weekend. Unfailingly.
He would
walk up to her house once he arrived at
the village and upon opening her door call out, 'mama' and ogho would get
elated immediately, replying "ọ bụ Imma? Now I know that I will eat
today." Years later, papa would always fight tears whenever he got to this
point of his mother’s last days. He
would beat his chest and cry, "mama m! Mama m!"
He never
forgot for once during his life time, ogho's love for him and how she sent him
to school against all odds. Even now that I remember this, I am fighting tears.
That was how powerful papa's love for his mother was during her last days.
It was
touching in a lot of ways because besides cooking every week for her, assorted
soups which he left with his elder brother and his family to warm for her and
feed her daily, he also ensured to give her personal care anytime he was in the
village. It was the part he found difficult to do because he was a man and
grand mother was a woman. And that's where my own mother's compassion came in.
Mama
remembers it with compassion in spite of the messy condition Ogbo was in the first
time they came home and found that she'd soiled herself. Mama remembers how she
melted on seeing papa in tears, begging her to help because he was too
embarrassed to wash his mother. He pleaded and mama helped him. And both of
them did it together.
Mama washed
Ogho while papa cleaned the soiled floor and washed the beddings.
And when it was
clear that she’d lost her independence completely, papa bought a full
mackintosh covered mattress for her. Uncle Thomas brought cleaners and
antiseptics. My cuz Luke took charge of the cleaning when Papa and mama were not
around.
Every
weekend mama washed her mother in law and when she returned to the township, she’d
be mortified at how old age took power from people, people like Ogho who was
the strongest woman in her days. The cycle went on until grandmother's death.
That was the
first time I saw Papa cry. He came home and removing his shirt called out on our
neighbour, “Peter, mama m anwụgh!’ That was the first time I saw someone related
to me die.
People gathered
and consoled Papa. He said that his only consolation was that Ogho, before passing,
laid her blessings on her children.
She told
mama that she would not suffer in her old age, that her daughters would be like
men. She blessed Luke, told him that his business would flourish. She blessed
all her Sons. She told Papa that he'd not suffer in death.
***
I am
remembering all these things in a sports shop where I've come to buy some shoes
for work but instead of buying shoes, I am sitting on a chair and crying
because I remember papa. I have just seen an old man fall by the street,
soiling himself, with no help in sight. It hurts me to see.
I am crying
and sad but my only consolation is that papa didn't suffer this way. His death
was clean in a hospital, within minutes.
It was his
mother's blessing. It was what she told him after he took care of her. “You’ll not
suffer this way, my son.”
Nnaemeka
Ugwu
October 2022.
